I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
