I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
