Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
