i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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