doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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