well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
