Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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