lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
