Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
