Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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