omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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