I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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