I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
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Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
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Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.