He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?