I'm so fucking centered right now
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
