my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
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In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
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I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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