Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
