Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
He kissed a someone with a penis
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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