i just google imaged poop.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I DEMAND FORESKIN
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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