Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
