We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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