Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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