Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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