I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
worst night to have a conscience
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Randomize
