is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
whose ass print is on the piano?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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