he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
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He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
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Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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