return my video game
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
