this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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