speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
There r osticjed everywhere
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
