Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
there was a trapeze. enough said
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
