this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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