Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
