They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
