we should wear snuggies to the strip club
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
