Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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