I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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