I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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