Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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