Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
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