when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
