"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
