there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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