Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
