if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
