worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
