i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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