i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
