He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Just puked most of my soul out..
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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