Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
