She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
