38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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