he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
