what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
