someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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