what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
