Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
