i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
