if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
