he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
