so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I think I am morally bankrupt
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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