I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize