I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
