that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
