this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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