Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
