Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
