so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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