words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
