In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I need moral support for this bender
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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