I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
